Tuesday, April 6, 2010

80's Family Sitcom

It's true, this Saturday will make 6 months of marriage for Jayson and me.

That's 6 months of figuring out how to share a bed and blankets, 6 months of learning how to regulate the temperature for both of us, 6 months of sharing household responsibilities AND 6 months of laughing.

We have been super blessed in the fact that we don't fight. We spend too much time laughing to fight, and i guess that is the key for us. But boy, does it confuse the heck out of me! Leading up to marriage all we ever heard (besides "don't go to sleep angry") was how hard the first year of marriage will be. So I've just decided... maybe it doesn't have to be hard; maybe it doesn't have to be full of fights.

Luckily, Jayson and I both over-think things and both have Psych backgrounds. And because of how wonderful and fightless marriage has been for us, it's caused me to think a lot about the cause and preventions of fights. In all my thinking, the one thing I can really say is... maybe we could learn something from those 80's family sitcoms.

Remember the 80's? You turned on a show, there was a disagreement or a mistake; but then 30 minutes later, it was solved. What the lovable, but mislead, character did was take responsibility in the end; but what if we take responsibility BEFORE the fight.

The way I see it, all fights stem from three things:
  • insecurities
  • the perception of selfishness (founded or unfounded)
  • miscommunication
So, if you are facing a fight right now (or in the future), which one of these applies to your situation? Does your partner feel left behind or left out or unsure of your future? Do you? Are your decision making skills leaving out your Love? Did they just forget to tell you something really important, or did you tell them something vaguely and expect them to catch on?

There can be a million more examples; so over-think it this time.

Then, the most important part, find your contribution to this situation AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT! Have that nice, warm, inviting, 80's family sitcom talk. Figure it out, and change what needs to be changed.

Oh, and don't forget to laugh!